rpness... dont question the crack

"I cant.. after what I've put him through... I don't expect him to take me back I cant.. and I couldnt accept it if he did.."

" so you two are done.......I really looked up to you.......because you never gave up...."

"then you can hate me too.. it only suits things anyway.. I maybe a selfish bastard but I'm not a freaking asshole.. what do you want me to do take him back so I can hurt him again..."

" no.......thats not what I'm saying.......you guys might not be the same you used to be......but you could at least fucking try. No you aren't an asshole.....you aren't those other guys its why I like you.....well love you....."

"yes I am.. I was being selfish and it hurt him.. and Hana.. all because I was being a whore and couldnt make a decision. he kept saying he didnt expect me to but at the end of the day he did and I knew that.. but I still couldnt. I figured eventually one of you were going to leave... but not both of you.. but then again it's just what I deserve."

" I'm leaving because I have a kid I'm going to be raising soon....drew left because his fears have finally caught up with him....."

"and you think I care... I'd want to help.. I'd make time to be with you.. But I doubt you want anything to do with me after this and I cant blame you"

" I can't be with you because there's a barrier between us.......you have my brother.......and no matter now how you try to deny it......you want my brother to act like I did.....its how you fell for me."

"you're wrong.. I've thought about that actually.. because at first I was looking for an excuse to pull away from you.. I didnt want to hurt him.. and I thought maybe it was because you're like him abit.. you're both honest people who try so hard to take care of the people you care about.. I thought maybe it was because it was like a fresh start with him without all the mistakes.. but thats not it.. it's just because you're you.. if he acted like you I'd think he lost it.. I love you because you're sweet, and you're not afraid to talk to me even if you're stubborn when it comes to taking help, it's opposites. with him I'd rather be held.. when I look at you I just want to hold you. I always looked to him to be there when I needed him. With you I want to be stronger just so I can take of you when you need me. it's not the same. I hate that you are anything like him actually. it just makes it worse"

" you sound like you suddenly hate him......"

"of course not I couldnt if I tried. the only thing I hate is what I've done to him and that no matter how much I regret it I wouldnt take it back.. because that would be like regretting us and I cant do that. I thought about something that I wish would've never crossed my mind. I hated it because I wanted it to be true and at the same time I didnt.. Hana saw this coming.. but yet she didnt see an end for us. I mean as much as she wanted me and drew together she'd of rubbed it in my face. been like sorry mommy its not going to work you have to be with daddy whether you like it or not. You deserve better than me and yet I want you to want me. I'm despicable and I cant help it. Just the thought of even asking drew to take me back after what I've put him through disgusts me. I don't expect you to stay I'd be insane to. but if I thought you would I'd beg. You clearly don't know what you mean to me... if you think I just care about you because of him. It was bad.. he sat there and said he couldn't leave me.. that he couldnt do that and then he did.. thats how bad I hurt him. He'll be back he has to his kids are here.. and I dont even want to see him. I still love him but I can't stand seeing him like this. I don't know what I'm doing anymore or what I'm going to do. I don't know where I'm going to end up or how things are going to go. But more than anything I'm scared of being alone and yet I know I deserve to. This isn't easy on anyone I know that. least of all him.. he's given me so much and he feels like he's taken half my life from me. it scares me to think of what he could do right now.. what he could be out there doing.. and yet I dont want to leave because I'm scared if I do when I come back you won't be here. But I know you're going to leave I'm not stupid. so just promise me whatever guy comes around to replace me is going to be someone who takes care of you, and whatever you do make sure you keep on smiling.. I love that smile.. and take good care of the kid because no matter what happens and where you go.. I'll always be yours even when you're not mine anymore"

" I'm not good at ending anything.....When I end things its because sometimes you have to......yes, this totally hurts......but I should have stopped before I ended up doing what we did......or letting you feel this much for me and I for you......Drew won't hurt forever.....and he's going to come back.....but it won't be the same .....and the chances of you guys ever having that relationship you had......well its probably gone. If I continue to be with you..what will become of us? we will we end? or will it be great ? I want to find out.....but I'm scared. I want you to be around for me and my kid to......even though you aren't the dad. If I find a guy......I want you to meet him first so you can judge him......I can't say he's going to perfect......but he has to be good enough. Right now though......I picture you holding me again and the times you touched me. Do you know what you did it changed me..." *sera rests her head against his shoulder* " I'm not giving up on you.....for anything so please don't act like that........the world hasn't ended. yeah I bet it hurts. but it won't end not like this."

"of course you're scared so am I. But if we let fear get the best of us where do we end up. If I had let fear stop me from going after what I wanted I'd of never had what I did have with Drew. I wouldnt have ever got to know you.. I wouldnt be who I am"

" I can't believe what happened." *drew comes through the door dripping with blood from head to foot and he limps into the living room*

"you fucking idiot.. damn it I know you're fucking pissed but will you think about your damn kids. If you werent hurt I'd personally beat the shit out of you"

" I didn't do it this time.......it was those fucking angels of death....and ......"

"I'm sorry I'm an idiot I shouldn't assume things.. I'm a fucking idiot.. end of story"

" you thought I went out and did something? how fucking stupid can you be? It doesn't matter that I'm hurting so much i can't breathe.....i wouldn't do that to you."

"I said I'm sorry... honestly I am an idiot.. I'm just putting you through hell"

*drew drops onto the couch* " shit shit shit."

*looks down at his feet*

*sera tears her off her brothers shirt* " look at you....."

"Damn... well don't I feel shitty now...honestly this isnt the time for it I know but I'm sorry.. I'm sorry that I cant make you happy anymore... But I guess thats just how it is huh"

" you make me happy.....yet we fucked up.....thats all there is I guess."

"No we didnt I did.. you didnt do anything.. you tried even though it was hurting you. I'm the one that fucked up.. and I'm sorry. I wasted so much of your time.. and did nothing but hurt you"