rpness... dont question the crack

"Meh she can't do any worse at thirteen than I did"

" She's not even allowed to be a teenager....I want her to stay that size forever....what if she won't need me anymore?"

"She'll always need you... not quite as much as she needs me but you know.. im kidding"

" You're lucky I love you enough that I wouldn't even sucker punch you." *Drew takes a deep breathe as he pulls into Allison's driveway* " Tristan can you get Dom's stuff?"

"Or I could sit here and use all my remaining sanity to remember I cant kill her"

" come on, I really need the help, I can't carry everything....I'm not an alien." *Drew scoops up Dom* " daddy I don't wanna go, I want to stay with Tristy." *Doms eyes start to tear up*

"Honestly it's going to be ok.. I'm still your mommy no matter what I'm not just going to abandon you because she's around.. I'll still be there when you get home and maybe if you're a good girl I can work some things out and you can meet my little boy. He's almost your age so it could be fun you know"

" but boys have cuties......there gross." *Drew laughs* " really what about your boyfriend? hes a boy." *dom sighs* " he's not a boy hes a man and men don't have cooties."

"That's a lie... and besides he's your brother so shush"

*Dom sticks out her tongue* " no ." *Allison steps outside and runs towards dom* " Tristy!" *Dom shakes and turns towards him*

"Honestly you have to be a good girl... whether you like it or not.. and maybe next time Drew won't be so mean and make you wear a dress.. or I won't let him.."

*Dom jumps down and runs towards a mud puddle and jumps in splashing allison and drew* " Dom, settle down." *Dom glares at her dad and Drew stares down at his mud covered crotch* " I can't decide if I should take off my pants or cut out the spot....."

"Neither one is socially acceptable.. sheesh they'll dry and they're washable.. and I do the laundry so shut up you big baby.. someone remind me why I love you again"

" Because when it gets hot outside, and I'm not wearing a shirt I sweat in just the right spot.....I mean because....."

"this is exactly why I need reminded. Sheesh someone cram the word romantic in your ear so maybe someday it'll make it's way to your brain"

" Fine I'll take you out on the lake and I'll bring my guitar, light candles and serenade you." *drew picks up Dom and hands her to allison* " just take good care of her......and keep her out of anything with sugar. She's been really hungry . you can make her a sandwich she doesn't eat alot. Make sure she gets clean and I'll bring over extra clothes." *Dom stares at her dad* " you're leaving daddy?" *Drew kisses dom's forehead* " yeah but it won't be long I promise. What do we always do when daddy has to leave?"
" Sing a song , and then remember daddy loves me no matter what." *Drew grins* " yeah that's my girl." *Dom waves as Allison carries her into the house."

"Well I'll have to put a postponement on that unless you know we want a screaming 5 year old in the background.."

" yeah ....I just constantly worry about her. I just hope this gets better now that shes around her mom." *Drew leans against the car* " I never thought I made a mistake having dom....but every time I think of how me and Allison ended up it hardly seems fair, now she has to be spilt forever between us. but Dom's my baby and as much as don't like the situation without her I just wouldn't know what to do. if I didn't see her look up at me through her crib bars all the time.....I don't think i'd be alive. She was always so innocent, she loved bath time. " *Drew looks down* " I'm not a bad dad I hope."

"You're not, you worry too much ok. She loves you isn't that all that matters. I hate that Christian's stuck with Jess but with school and being so depressed I couldn't raise him. Sometimes we do what we thinks best for our kids no matter how bad it bothers us"

" Tristan one of these days you're going to have to tell him, not right now when he doesn't understand. But maybe when hes a teenager when hes old enough to decide. I'm not sure if i'm right, but you can't risk your kid hating you. Dom hated me for trying to get her to see Allison and as much as that hurt I was doing the right thing. if allison can be a better mom, thats what Dom needs. Shes in a house full of men and dysfunctional people, she just needs to have those chances to be a girl and watch movies and fall asleep on her moms tummy."

"Yeah well you try imaging yourself explaining to him why his parents aren't together. It's easier to just pretend for everyone. I can't ever let him know what happened it'd kill his perception of his mother"

" thats up to you to decide. I'm just saying....deep down I'm right and i understand why you are so scared. Dom hates her mom , I mean maybe hates a strong word...but shes scared of her mom. Dom always tried to get close and Allison was too scared and during the pregnancy she had major depression and couldn't except being a mom, I tried to talk her into treatment because after the baby was born she was so disgusted with herself and dom that it was mortifying. We never talked about it and she cried all the time, couldn't change a diaper or nurse. There was times she would try to attempt suicide because she couldn't handle the pregnancy. One night it was so bad she was bleeding out every where. I went into the bathroom and she was having a seizure she had taken an overdose of zoloft and mixed it with alcohol, she hit the side of the counter and cut open her head. I never told anyone how scary it was. I wanted to be the better person and help. she was in the hospital and dom's heart rate was so soft it almost was nonexistent. I thought she wasn't going to be born. I think I really took forgranted things....Allison taught me to understand people. But I also know she won't be having anymore children. they forced a hystercomy on her and that was it. Allison being able to bond with Dom is a huge breakthrough." *Drew leans against the car breathing heavily*

"But at least you two thought you had something. It's just not ok with me because I'm scared it's going to make Christian think no one can love him because of that. I love him too much for him to think that it'd kill me."

" I did love Allison.but I wasn't in love with her. Her and I could have been friends if we weren't so different. She encouraged me to be a teacher and after being out of jail I met her at the night club I sang at. Something really drew me to her. she always smiled when I sang, it reminded me of you, and it feel like maybe I could be myself again. when we found out she was pregnant it was amazing at first then all of that just fell apart, she hated being pregnant, and I hated her being sick. When you were pregnant with the twins it scared me, I thought things will fall apart again until I realized not all pregnancies are like that. Tristan you have fears like I do. Christan is very much loved....even after you being raped.....I think Jessica changed.....and maybe thats what we all need is something that forces us to change. If I wasn't with allison I could have never matured enough and I wouldn't have Dom and I wouldn't be able to admit theres no one in the world even close to you. I love you more than anything and you are my best friend.....but realize I'm scare about everything like you are with your son. Because theres too many mistakes to be made."

"There's a small thing about that that's wrong. Jessica hasn't changed all that much she's still manipulative. She'll do anything to get what she wants. All I have to say about that matter is she still refuses to believe I'm gay.. But then again she's never met you either"