dun dun dun new topic!

*Sera pokes damian* " I'm gonna play in the snow. Cause I can and bringing the kiddos." *Sera climbs over the top of him excited*

*Damian looks up* "But what if you get them sick or something." *mutters* "eh it's hopeless."

" they can't get sick they have better immune systems than humans and I got them winter clothes. duh!" *corey squirms* " you know babies squirm too much and if you come play in the snow I'll cook later but don't expect it all the time."

*Throws a snowball at Sera* "Still can Tristan used to get sick all the time.. then again he is kind of a pussy"

" Most men are. My brother drew acts like hes not but if he gets a cold he wants to be babied and i ain't having that shit." *Sera grins and throws a larger snowball* " you should be lucky could doesn't affect me much. otherwise this would be war."

"Oh please you couldn't hurt me..You loovee me."

" love hurts baby."

"They don''t mean that physically jeez."

" you can't handle a little pain? even if its cold?"

"Just because I can doesn't mean I should. I used to put up with Tristan teething on me with his stupid little wolf teeth those things hurt."

" well no shit I could have told you that. My brothers were mean to me ...they had the whole demonic thing going on.they'd possess me and make me do stupid shit it was not fun. I hate them."

*Jumps on Sera and tickles her* "Don't start lying now."

*sera giggles* " hey just cause you know I like being tickled doesn't mean you should do it all the time."

"Does too"

" you shouldn't." *Corey giggles and throws snow at his sister* " well the kids like the snow and aren't sick."

"Fine if you insist darling."

" You know it's true. You just worry too much. A little snow never hurt anyone. You know Drew is terrified of snow he screams if he sees it. So its a tradition to bring a bucket of snow and put in the middle of his bed. "

"Now that's just cruel and unusual punishment. Even I'm not that evil."

" hey he tortures me alot. You never had much of a childhood then?"

"Not really you have to consider I didn't get adopted until I was 11 and even then I spent most of my time raising Tristan."

" I was never adopted. I remember the foster care. I never really connected with anyone and at 15 I was able to get out of the program once I told them my plans was to get an apartment they gave me money to budget. I still resent my mother who never loved me. I just feel like there was so much unresolved hate. I love her but will always think of how distant she was , pushing me away whenever I wanted a hug and dad wanted no part of his kids, he was always in his study listening to classical music . I realized later him and mom had started to hate each other and slept in separate rooms, and being around was pain for him where he never thought he would stop loving my mom. We were a reminder of everything wrong in his life. He gave up and I really got lucky Drew took care of me. He never cooked but he was amazing at making peanut butter and jelly. Without them I just felt empty. At ten mom made me pack whatever I thought I needed I left my toys and took a small picture book of my brothers with me. It fueled me to get through school , and then I took it upon myself to move back, I also convinced myself I really loved tristan and he walked away. It was all so painful and I just wanted that love. you know the unconditional kind, i thought if i had kids someone would love me.....and now I realize how much someone could really love me. I'm scared to love you Damian , what if everything just fell apart.....everything we worked towards? when you leave for work I cry until I can't anymore and then you come home. I keep expecting you not want to come back. I know I'm a hard person to deal with so if you can't do this , you have to tell me."

"Why would anyone ever leave you? You're beautiful and strong and smart and you have so much energy. There's so much wrong in Tristan's head you just don't understand it. He trusted Xander once upon a time. Maybe less or maybe more than he does Drew I can't be sure but it was a trust you don't find every day. Sure part of is just in his biological programming but it was just more than that, it was something that blinded him to the outside world. He thought that he couldn't be with anyone else. He'd already lost Drew he wasn't willing to let go of the only other person who loved him like that. But unfortunately Xander ruined it, I know I did too but I didn't know. I mean Tristan always said they weren't together and I thought that the way he was around him was just friendly it wasn't until after that I saw it was more than that but it was already too late. Xander couldn't fix it and neither could I, no matter how much I thought it'd be good for him for them to be back together. I didn't trust Drew with him for some reason. Xander is just biologically programmed to protect him and biology I trust. Drew seemed so immature back then and handing my little brother over to him wasn't an option. So I ended up pushing away the only person who ever loved me because I couldn't accept who he loved. I was alone and so was he and it caused a darkness in him that he still hasn't completely gotten over but at least now he smiles then and again. It makes me feel like less of a failure. So as little as you may think of yourself at least you didn't ruin your own life. I'd always come back for you, I know how it is to be alone and I won't do that to you."

" my brother is very immature sometimes but him loving someone isn't. When my brother loves he doesn't just love with it goes every part of him and he is vulnerable towards your brother. I guess what people don't know is Drew has been broken inside from trying to figure out who he was since dad wasn't there to teach him he just tried to seek out who he was through women. he knew no other way and he didn't want to admit to Tristan he was lost. Biological and environmental factors contribute to who we are. I was too young to tell my brother he was gay heck I wasn't around and him and mason fought like crazy. I never saw my brother connect on an emotional level with anyone until Tristan. Tristan is his everything. I want you to see who Drew is as a person, immature, but loving and he never gives up on anyone and he felt scared to hand over his baby sister to you. but you and drew have things in common. We as people need someone to identify with so life seems meaningful. Without you i'd have wandered through life always wanting and most would think its taboo to love someone alot older than you but i have been an adult since I was released to foster care. I was emotionally, verbally and psychically abused by people. Damian you save me all the time, when I'm scared . I just act strong cause at a certain point all i had was myself. " *Sera buries her face in Damian's neck* " I love you and I'm scared of it, I'm not used to feeling this way. Sure I dated but I never connected with anyone, not like you."

*Damian wraps his arms around Sera* "It's okay I'm better at being strong for other people than myself anyway. So don't ever be afraid to run to me. If there's anything I can do I will no matter what. It's just hard because I've seen Drew hurt him so bad before and no matter how good he may seem for him now there's that fear of Tristan going back to that place. He honestly tried to kill himself multiple times. Mason was at our house more than I was because he constantly felt the need to check on him. I even had to call him when I found Tristan on the bathroom floor because I couldn't handle it. Someone else maybe so but not my little brother. I hate knowing that Tristan's ever felt that kind of darkness to begin with so it's just hard knowing someone can do that to him. It's not that I have anything against Drew himself it's just the situation and the idea I can't stand. You have to understand I'm trying to be supportive but it's going to take a lot before I can just be ok with it."

" I was in a dark place like tristan once but I didn't go as far as the attempts but I drank and drank and drank. I was underage but I had connections I wasn't proud of. Tristan was lucky he wasn't alone. I thought if I drank it would numb me completely then I wouldn't feel alone I stopped drinking one night when A guy tried to take advantage. I had no one to defend me So i screamed, I just kept picturing drew so I could stay calm. I'm saying I know that dark place its inside all of us waiting for a trigger. I thought in some way him and I connected he was the first guy i really liked. I'm just lucky that guy never got his way. A group of girls got involved and I ran . I vowed not to drink when I had problems and even when to an alcohol program to be clean. None of us are perfect. I don't want anyone to judge me thats all."